Grandma Maxwell's Son's Famous Slime Recipe

Looking for something to play with while you're reading Once Upon a Slime?  Have a rainy afternoon and want to pass the time?  Looking for a way to exact revenge upon those that have wronged you? (Note: do not use Grandma Maxwell's Son's Famous Slime or any other slime to exact revenge) Look no further!  

 
Ingredients:

  1. 12oz of white school glue (three 4oz bottles works.  I did the math for you!)
  2. 1½ (one and a half) tablespoons baking soda
  3. 3 (three) tablespoons contact lens solution
  4. 1 (one) drop green food coloring (optional)
  5. 1 (one) banana (optional)

Directions

  1. (optional) Peel and eat the banana.* Can't be making slime on an empty stomach, now can we!  Feel free to skip this step if you  
    a) are not hungry,
    b) do not have a banana but still want to make slime, or  
    c) dislike bananas.   
    Eating a banana is the least important step of making slime. Honestly, I'm not even sure why this step is in here. 
  2. Squeeze the glue into a bowl.  Be careful as it is quite sticky.  It is, after all, glue.
  3. Add the drop of green food coloring if you want to make the original green color.  Stir it around a little with a spoon or spatula. If it's not enough, add another drop.  If you want to make it another color instead of green, you know what? Go crazy! "Purple slime? Why I never!" 
  4. Add the contact lens solution and smoosh it together using a spatula ("spatula" is one of my favorite words, by the way. Quite satisfying to say.) or spoon.  Not a wooden spoon, as that would get all gloopy and glopie. And glorpy.
  5. Now, take it out of the bowl and put it on something that won't get all gross. A countertop in the kitchen, for example, is a good spot.  Living room carpet or your cat's bed, for different examples, are bad spots and should not be used. Knead it all together with your hands.  If it's too sticky, add another teaspoon of contact lens solution to make it more, well, slimy.
  6. Enjoy!  Note. Do not use your slime to get revenge on those that have wronged you.
  7. If you've made truly amazing and outstanding slime and--let's be honest here--I can't believe you would make anything other than amazing and outstanding slime (especially if you've eaten a banana first) have your parents or guardians Instagram it and tag me!  @andy_maxwell #onceuponaslime .  Everybody loves to see slime!  I've heard that slime pictures are the new cat pictures!  Show the world your slime!

* Note: I see now that this instruction isn't entirely clear.  It appears that I am saying that peeling the banana is optional.  That is not the case.  The entire step is optional.  But, if you would like to eat a banana, peeling it is required.  I apologize for any misunderstanding or any unpeeled bananas eaten, if you did not read this footnote in time.